by Harlan
They said...

It Couldn't Be Done


Sometime ago I gave a talk at Singletarians and mentioned how to tell who was interested. "After you have been going out awhile", I said, "you can walk into a room and in as little as 60 seconds tell who is interested in you in that room." So they wanted to know how you can tell. Other singles verify that after you have gone out for awhile you just automatically know. They can't explain how, they just know. So here I am, going to break it down and tell them how, and when I did, everybody laughed. I guess they thought I was putting them on. Now, a national publication has come out with an article entitled, "How your eyes reveal your secret feelings." I feel vindicated now so am going to discuss it once again in light of this article.

Actually, your mind is like a computer and after much experience going out your subconscious has catelogued all the clues that automatically ring a bell and say, "This person is interested. " Your conscious mind may never have been let in on the clues at all, never having made note of them.

One Paradise Valley woman who I know, has been in the singles game for years who really knows how to operate, tells me that she can be at a dance and get anyone to dance with her who she is interested in. She seems to think she does it with ESP. She says, "I just look at them and 'think' come over and ask me to dance" and they always do! She has taught some other girls the little secrets and they found it works, too. I personally feel, however, that it has nothing to do with thought transference or E.S.P. She and they are letting them know unconsciously by outside body language and THEIR EYES. Body language is another subject that I could do another article on but that really isn't the total subject today. It is part of telling you who is interested. It is not always an exact 100% science, while the eyes are. You can get false clues with body language but not with the eyes (with one exception which I'll mention shortly). Example: If they open or face their palms to you when you approach that is usually a sign they are receptive. This, along with body position clues, etc., can tell you whether you will get a "yes" or "no" if you ask them to dance, etc. If you have been going out for awhile you hardly ever get turned down for a dance because, frankly, you just ask those who have indicated interest.

Alright, enough suspense, here is how you really know for sure who is interested. Don't laugh, and pay attention because I am very serious about this. Get this now--the University of Chicago has made studies that show when someone looks at something or someone he likes; the pupils of his eyes grow larger. If they find something or someone unpleasant, the pupils contract. Dr. Eckhard Hess of the university says it has nothing to do with the amount of light. It is not even controlled by the same part of the nervous system.

This national publication article states that Chinese Jade merchants guage how high a price the customer is willing to pay by their pupils. Professional card players watch their opponents' eyes. If he drew the card he wanted they know his pupils enlarge or contract if he got the wrong card. Now, that my explanation of how to tell who is interested has been backed by scientific verification here is how you tell as I see it.

When you walk into a room, when someone glances at you, you are capable of very easily telling if they are interested by the size of their pupils. The Singletarian audience quipped; "That's ridiculous, how are you going to tell in a semi-darkened room?" You can, it makes no difference. If it is light enough to see them you can tell. The eyes become sort of flashy. If you are aware, you will soon catch on. Often some single persons will walk into a room and leave and say, "there's no one interesting here." What they really meant was, "there was no one there showing any interest in me." Actually, if you stuck around you might get someone's interest or become interested in someone if you give everyone a chance to get acquainted. What we are talking about here though is first impression interest, okay? So-called instant attraction.

Actually most women do not know it, but men can tell and are immediately attracted to women who show an interest in them even if they are not exactly his type, he will make some move to check you out. Eyes do not lie! The one exception is as follows:

Some of the southern belles in history back discovered that by taking a drug which enlarged their pupils (I won't tell you the name of the common item) they could be the belle of the ball. All the men there would literally fight over her because they were all getting the "message" she was interested from her enlarged pupils.

I believe it would be possible to eventually learn to consciously control voluntarily this pupil size. (They have found a way to teach you how to control your heart beat, you know.) Maybe we just best let nature handle your hidden messages to potential lovers. The visualization thing mentioned earlier about saying to yourself, "I like you, come over and ask me to dance," may cause you to automatically give the eye message or other signals you involuntarily convey when you are interested. Just let your subconscious know you are very interested and soon the other party should get the message. How they get the message you really don't care--only that they get the message--and act upon it! Don't expect them to respond in 60 seconds. It may be an hour or more but they will so don't get impatient and run off. Many will not respond right off because it would be too obvious and maybe they couldn't positively believe the message. If they later get it again they then know for sure you are interested.

One other thing I have observed that I might mention here is the first time you see someone or are thrown together you (or they) might not be able to respond to an "interested" message because one of you is still manuvering and bideing your time to catch up on and check out a couple of other "interested" messages. So you might be passed over tonight. The next time or subsequent times you are together you may refuse to show any interest because you feel your message was rejected last time. If you are still interested, let your subconscious know by projecting, "I still like you, come over and talk to me." Realize that each time you meet, the situation and the mental competition may be different. Maybe this time you meet he/she may have just broken up with his No. 1 romance.

Many times I have observed two people suddenly discovering each other that have previously been at the same parties together, for example, many times before and showed no mutual interest in the past.

You can learn to readily detect who is interested and I believe you can learn to display your interest by learning this subconscious technique. Try it!

If you have been out circulating much, at some time you have probably observed two people coming together in the same room for the first time, sparks literally fly between them. They hardly say a word to each other and leave together shortly. That is eye and body communication!


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